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So I can't even tell if this thing is an honest representation of me or if I've been kidding myself all this while, writing things that seem closest to my heart using another language altogether written by My Other Self. It's funny how I don't actually write about what I'm going through in my own blog... well at least not anymore.

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I can't tell if you honestly regard me as a friend you'd want closeby. I can't tell if you have any kind thoughts about me when we don't see each other. I can't even tell if you like me. Can't tell if I actually care about you. I can't tell if I've actually stopped caring altogether and if I'm indifferent about you. I can't tell if I'd actually share my secrets with you and you with me, so I can tell we don't trust each other. But I can tell we're all trying. I can say hey, we do get along and I can tell we won't intentionally hurt each other. I can tell we all have fun. I can tell we look out for each other and that we are generally good people. But that's really not enough when push comes to shove, when one of us needs to give the other the benefit of doubt, when we need to actually love one another. We're all sort of awkwardly put together to become friends, friendly strangers and at this point we're still friends who are pretty much still strangers. We are friengers.

This serves as a personal reminder of the basis of relationships because most of the time, it doesn't matter if things are obviously okay or not when we choose to love anyways.