1 0 0 0 w

It's just there, lying quietly.
I am stirring it (its poison I'm ignoring);
my ears catch a shift of sound,
and I am no longer around.

Now bloody palms, wet cheeks.
Disappearing limbs,
the poison no longer numbs,
it gnaws and it chews,
and it smiles, it looks.

I am not here, the sugar runs out.
It is all bitter, was it firstly sweet?
No thinking, just falling,
and I am almost extinct.

Pollen,
lethal if not crippling.
A spoonful, the floor swallows,
and I am away from you.
But it was you,
you planted that flower,
watered and watched it bloom.
And pollen flowed from it-
it made its bed on the petals.
You kept them in jars,
"she will want a taste".

But now I've thrown it all away,
there is no more need for artificial sweetness,
it is useless, chemical.
I am not here,
I am far from you.

I hardly recognize myself sometimes.
Paint my picture again? The me I am;
I will look this time.

Below are a few silly quizzes I happily answered for entertainment. According to a bunch of them, I am a lilac colored tofu-eating lunatic (with two heads and a toothy body. Refer to pinkish image below), who could also double up as your history teacher who looks 48 but acts 22 (although barely 21 in actual fact *slouch*). And only 40% weird with a strip of brown paint on my left eye and upper lip.

I saw 5 red cars parked in a row in Cyberjaya today. That, to me is rated 'Quite-Amusing,-Actually Very!' on my amusometer. I've read the lovable The Curious Incident of The Dog in The Night-time book by Mark Haddon, and according to Christopher, the very intelligent but autistic young boy in the book, 5 red cars in a row on any day makes it a Super Good Day (4 red cars in a row=Good Day, 3 red cars=Quite Good Day, 4 yellow cars=Black Day). I got to do my grocery shopping today, which makes it.. a super good day! Plus, it's a Sunday + other reasons.

Let me just type out an excerpt from the book here for those who have not yet read the book and would like to get a sample:

"But an aneurysm is when a blood vessel breaks and the blood doesn't get to the heart muscles because it is leaking. And some people get aneurysms just because there is a weak bit in the blood vessels, like Mrs Hardisty who lived at number 72 in our street who had a weak bit in the blood vessels in her neck and died just because she turned her head round to reverse her car into a parking space."

A few pages into the book and you are guaranteed to develop a soft spot for 15-year-old Christopher. There are drawings and diagrams in the book to enable readers to engage with what he sees, reads and how he thinks (puzzles, maps, ads, even smilies). And the chapters in the book are numbered uniquely. It was mind-opening for me.

Oh, another thing which I just remembered amused me quite a bit and still amuses me whenever I think about it, is my booking number for an AirAsia flight to Penang once - it was NPBLEM. No problem! Hehehehehe... Hmm.

Getting a little reluctant about a few things. '..there must be something in the water here'.

New supply of sultana biscuits! Wondersfulll.. I recently concluded that(at this very moment, a virus was detected in my computer! But it has been removed with a single click of the mouse. Thank God for user-friendly antivirus softwares) food is controlling my life a little too much. It is my Egypt! Do something, I must!

Aiyoh, sleepy.

tmNet. Cringe.

Happy Valentine's Day to my family, friends and everyone who has a heart. Streamyx staff excluded. Dum dee dum.

I will be in KLCC for the next few days from morning till afternoon. Lancome has asked for me to consult and fashion illustrate on the spot for individual customers in conjunction with their Spring/Summer '06 makeup collection and publicity for the Lancome Color Design Awards finalists. Makes me feel like a foreign curbside artist - dusty brown beret stuffed onto a head of untamed curls, big knuckles, funky smell, and a penchant for sharpening pencils with a knife while chewing on the end of another. It's a good thing Lancome will rip my head off if I were to adopt any of those 'Pierre zeh Most Magneefik Arteest een All of Zees 3 Sidewalk Tiles' qualities.

Hmm..Hungry. It looks like it's gonna rain.

I went a little violent yesterday, mopping the apartment 5 times - three times in a row and another two times after inspecting how the water on the floor was drying up but the floor still wasn't slippery smooth, heheh. Now it's all nice.

Oo, there's something new in a sssecret nook somewhere in my blog; it is almost invisible *rubs hand and snickers*..

I have somewhat lost my daily addiction for chocolates. Maybe it's because I'm not under stress and have been sleeping every day. I hope the addiction doesn't resurface soon :|

Time to eenspekt me dying plants.

Next time..

• put mic to mouth when singing.
• keep track of how many prunes I consume while reading. Cannot eat 11 in a row. Uncomfortable to stomach.
  
• don't mumble. Bad habit, throw away.
  
• don't eat everything babies feed because cute fingers do not always hold edible goo.
  
• call Streamyx technician anyways. He should be awake, 12am is nothing. I don't care, next time, call.
  
• think extra 1.5 minutes before ordering 'telur bistik' - 'Do I really need a bistik?'
• go to Damansara Perdana to eat Chee Cheong Fun. Prawn paste black and goood.
• conceal enthusiasm when familar B.M. song plays in public with more skill.
  
• sleep when eyes start to sting.
  

Cuter than your socks. 10 times.

There goes that mandolin again,
purposefully playing a melody I cannot object to,
nestled beautifully among clever, daunting words.
And before its tune fades and another takes over,
I am another step back into all things grey and cloudy-
where I am a recluse to simplicity and peace of mind.
And there is no rest, and grey mandolins are of no help.


I love that you remind me that I can love myself.
And I love that you remind me that you've always wanted to, even when I couldn't.
You now speak that your fragrance is indeed in me and there is an inheritance awaiting.
I wouldn't have dared to believe so, it would've taken more than bravery and time,
but you spoke those words into me and for me nevertheless.

In you I find my rest, and grey mandolins, they can play
though they haunt me with melancholy I effortlessly invite more often than not.
When I do, simplicity to things tend to become more difficult than it should
and I quietly drive myself to disarray when I can just take the easier route out.
Peace will refuse to reside in my mind that so casually saves a seat for commotion
and there is barely any meaningful rest to last before another knot ties itself,
but help and promise were already there in fact.


I love that you are beyond my emotions,
thank you that you are who you are-
greater than great days and greater than grey days;
then and now you remain just as you are.
Thank God you found me,
a Savior You are to me.