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New layout, again. Heheh.

Christmas is just a few days away. It will be my first away from home and family. There is definitely a relevance of this in light of the year 2005. Character building by Him. Carrying my cross, cremating carelessness, longing for discipline by my Father and humbling myself.

I do miss home and what more during Christmas, my favorite time of year. I wish I could have the comfort of seeing the face of my sister in a busy Christmas party and laughing out loud together at inside jokes, hearing my dad guffaw and hearing others too after he makes them, hearing pieces of mom's 'I tell you, that time when I was in KL ah, aiyoohhh' conversations.. And setting up the Christmas tree alone or with my sister, and leaving it there till Chinese New Year.

There is a feeling of loneliness that is from the absence of the presence of my family.. but I try to remind myself, that Christmas is indeed about Jesus. He is the reason for Christmas joy. It definitely doesn't mean I will be elated to be alone during Christmas without loving company, but spending it with others who are like family, is a representation of the joy He brings. And I'm thankful I have a family in church: my LF members and church friends alike, that I can share my Christmas with; I've been having a good time with them so far.. turkeys, pies, carols, movies, suppers, laughs, insults, and countless others.

Amidst the speck of feeling homesick, I kinda feel like I'm already home at the same time, but just in another place.

I wonder what they're up to back home this Christmas.


Christmas really isn't Christmas till it happens in your heart.

So I'm in the office and looking occupied. I am occupied, just not with work, teehee. I do not have any.

She was once a girl who thought she was sure about herself, until she discovered that she was a far cry from her own list of unwritten Do's and Dont's. She realized that she would abide by her unwritten laws lest they 'somehow' rewrite themselves after a bend in the road or a breaking of back. All it would take is a bigger bend and a harder break before her defences crumble, as though there were no rules to begin with. The fact that she let it remain unwritten was probably why her seemingly stringent laws were not adamant but towards wavering instead.

And what an easy kill I was.

They say 'trust in yourself' - But I know I cannot afford to believe this one, it comes from people who are gods of themselves. To put my life in my own hands and govern it by my own wisdom would only see to a rapid ruin of my own kingdom - and this also rings true for others other than 'She' (e.g those who make the same mistakes again). Some refuse to believe that they have been defeated in the battle against the army of Truth, while others are still ignorant of how serious the damage will be if they continue to wage war. Others do not even know who or what Truth is. Some have yet to know that their own kingdom is in great danger.

'Do not be wise in your own eyes..' Proverbs 3:7

I know personally that I cannot put the weight of trust on myself, neither can I on others around me, even those I love and those whom I claim to know. Because people are people. We are as temporary as our 90+ years worth of lifespan and we all have our individual lives, which we fiercely protect more than we'd like to admit.

But there is no room for cynicism even in the midst of diminishing trust and generous helpings of disappointment. 'Trust in no one but yourself', they chant again. That instead gives me the assurance that I can place my utmost trust in my Father in heaven, and He will not let me down, and definitely not even in secret.

'Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding' Proverbs 3:5

Will I ever learn?

Kenneth Chin's story I never knew.

PS -> I can't stop eating my tau sar pneah ('tambun biscuit').

Having the best Laksa and Penang Hokkien Mee (prawn mee) back home in Penang beats fine-dining in KL anytime. Now to eat Chee Cheong Fun and who knows what else!

OK, Caryna.. "Here's the game. Introduce 10 quirks or idiosyncracies of yours on your blog, following which you are free to pick 5 more people to do the same"

1. I am not a planner and I invite spontaneous happenings like buying a ticket to go home the next day.
2. I have a thing against the inconsiderate act of people sprinkling water at me after they wash their hands in the toilet, at a pipe on a curb or even in a hygienic place. Keep the water to yourselves pleeeassee..
3. I love falling asleep in cars (though my moms rebukes it as something only kids do heheh).
4. I can't stand incompetancy *grin*.
5. I'm a slave to hopelessly good music and food but not fashion. Honest.
6. I settle for things too easily sometimes, that's why I hate bargaining, asking more than once, saying No, etc. Just anything to not trouble X or get X upset. I don't mind many things as well, like sitting in a room without the fan, the sun, sweating, having residue in my water, or not having my food served the way I ordered it. When I complain about these things, it's usually because of some other factor like missing the bus/train or #4.
7. I don't like asking for favors - especially if it involves asking for transportation. It's a huge chore for me to do so. I have a big disliking for asking and even saying Yes to anyone who offers.
8. A compliment falls on me like a square peg in a round hole. I don't know what to do with them! I usually start with a weird 'Uhhhh' noise from my nose/mouth/ears, and I'll wish a giant anvil crashes on me.
9. I must sign my name and write the date of purchase on books I buy.
10. I'm actually a close-to-home and reserved person and I don't mind doing things alone, like shopping and running errands.

OK, now that you've read the 10, I order you to do yours now if you haven't... I'm sorry! I can't think of the 5 now... Drop me a reply if you've made your own list.

Mom's coming from Penang for the weekend.. She'll be arriving tonight and staying till Monday night. I can eat her cooking again!

I really hope I can finish my work in time for the Monday deadline. I know I can because He's making it possible. Also, it's my mom's birthday on the 3rd (Saturday).. Still haven't gotten her anything :/

Falling asleep nowadays is a guilt trip :(

Happy news: I was accepted by Marie Claire magazine as an intern! Thank you again, Gerald. I will be starting this 13th for about 2 months. Am very blessed and grateful to be able to be a tiny part of BluInc. Now to look for presentable work clothes and stare at them from afar :|

Can't wait to break free from this looong and tiring semester. Need.. to... have... fun... re... lax..

Hey, how come I haven't noticed this color before? It reminds me of Frozz and a penguin sliding off ice and going into icey cold waters in one of the Poles.


It's great to know I was your good time,
but I should've seen that from under the epidermis.
I could've used some on me.

To my best friend, Shu Hui in UK.. I miss you so much! Can't wait to have roaring good times again in a land of good food and great spices to add to bland English food, and home to this very seasoned friendship.

Yeaaahhh :)

Waitress: Ordering. Three pork combos, extra bacon on the side, two chili cheese samplers, a basket of liver and onion rings, a catch of the day, and a steak cut in the shape of a trout. You got all that, honey?
KRONK: Three oinkers wearing pants, plate of hot air, basket of Grandma's breakfast and change the bull to a gill, got it.

:D Take care, love ya
Snorts and hugs.