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I can't stand it anymore:
Jesus, I love Youuuuuuuuuuu! Woh ai ni! I spoke in Mandarin!

The preciseness of the way He works, too good to be doing without. He is pure Genius. His realities are astounding - hard to investigate but easy to discover.


You never seem to tire like I would.
If there was anyone I'd secretly avoid,
it would be Me.
But You would search for me -
hiding under blankets with my adulterous heart;
that if there was anyone I'd secretly leave,
it would be Me.
You never seem to tire like I would.
And if there was anyone I'd secretly see,
it would have to be You.

I must burn the dead,
and sail its ashes of morose to all seven seas -
where the urn opens wide,
and the waves are quick to swallow;
where the water does not expose
the leak of salty tears that will surely follow.
And I must return thereafter,
to the shore that looks unadorningly bleak,
but long promised a place to dock and retire;
there I will remain in safe keep -
oblivious to where the ashes may be.
And the urn's howl for the dead to resurrect -
it will fall on sleeping ears,
as I sail ashes of morose,
to all seven seas.

______________________________________________________________
Purple aside.


I don't know why but for some reason, everytime I read 'as I sail ashes of morose, to all seven seas', I read 'as I sail ashore to all seven seas' instead, even after trying to recorrect those midgets in my brain that press buttons and turn knobs to enable me to read words. I think they all go by the same name: Cell. Maybe today is one of those days when writing is easier than the reading of the writing... hmm.. Or I must be smelling too much glue, lacquer and burnt styrofoam.

My first Christmas present for the year 2005 - a frog pen/toothbrush/key holder! Heheh.. And although I received it, I have no idea who gave it to me. Where art thou giver of frog gift?

Time is flying.

It's been cold enough these nights to be wearing my denim jacket in the house to keep warm, even with the fan switched off. Being on the seventh floor has never felt so elevated before.

After years of absence, I heard again Powderfinger's 'My Happiness' on the radio. Reminds me of my early Internet days which included the IRC and Napster addictions. No wait, that's too far back.. I wasn't 14 when I heard Powderfinger. But yes, I like the song! 90's are goodies.

Third Eye Blind's old 3EB album is great to drive with. Song after song, it will keep you in your lane - screaming their signature yells of energy, tapping fingers to the drumlines, frowning while singing along to Stephan's recollection of memories that haunt... all for the entertainment of the vehicles next to you in a jam.

Hoo, long day tomorrow. Again.

This post was a tralala-lala post.

Try this! Jacob's Sunlife breakfast biscuits - chocolate flavor! They are addictive but healthy. Been eating them every once in awhile/4-5 hours.






And also not forgetting, good ol' Gardenia chocolate Twiggies. I consume these RM 1.10 choc-filled goodies almost daily nowadays. It gives me the right boost of chocolate and relieves on-the-go hunger pangs while giving me excessive sugars I don't need (*but want*). I think it's too rampantly found in grocery/convenience stores :D I mean, :/

Short post.

1. I can't wait for Christmas!
2. I can't wait for graduation - Which will be next July. Looks like I have to wait much longer than one hysteric prospective grad should.
3. I can't wait to go to another country - missions trip here I come. No time to lose! I will go to the harvest fields. And I might just come back to Malaysia..
4. I can't wait to be with my family - Home is where the heart is.
5. I can't wait to cook for them - Home is where the food is.
6. I can't wait to meet my old friends - Ah! Everyone's scattered everywhere, and even with technology.. distance is distance. I hope we bridge it soon.
   
7. I can't wait to work - Only after a satisfying break will I work. I know everyone's telling me to enjoy college life while I can before stepping into the pothole of working life - well I'm very ready to leave LKW and step into another surrounding and experience something of significant change. Even if it's in a pothole.
   
8. I can't wait to watch movies again - In cinemas or wherever (but definitely not in front of 'Speedy Video' watching their movie-for-the-day). I have been left out from this multibillion dollar business and I'll make sure to watch all the ones I am missing now and the ones to come which I am sure I will miss too. It will be a biiigg movie marathon, I can feel it!
   
9. I can't wait to buy a music CD - This I haven't done in months and I am dying to buy a good original CD again. The last I bought was... I bought two at once hehe! The Killers and Lifehouse.
10. I can't wait to have k enjoy being me again.
11. I can't wait to buy new shoes - Darn, this is a #11 already.

Bludgeoned with deadlines.



My radical Lover,
come rest here awhile.

So it seems that 4am's are 1opm's to me now. Every day, I'm awake at the wrong time and asleep every other wrong time. And now the air is clean and chilly, and the crickets are busy tuning their chirps while my mind is almost adrift, but still thinking of a mass of thingamajigs.

I have so many things in my head right now.. thoughts are bouncing off each other like the Brown movement (or maybe for a closer-to-home term: Gerakan Brown). It's even making me frown. It happens often nowadays.. when I'm walking, driving, sitting, waiting, but almost never when I'm eating though.

A frown and a hand over my mouth marks a Brown. And they happen a lot these days.

I'm beginning to see many things clearly now and the things I refused to or simply did not see before, are perching slowly in on me. And what a terrible feeling it leaves - almost always. But I'd rather have scales removed from my eyes, than to have no sight and insights on matters that matter. Removing is never easy.

Random - there must be a reason why I've been getting a few opportunities to having my dad around as he stops by my place on his way to other destinations. First time in my 2 years of studies in KL.

These Browns are making me more aware of who I am and who I'm created to be - knowing what I want, what I need and what I don't, to be this person.. this Me I never really knew, or thought I knew but wasn't even close to to start off with. And if I could hit my head on the wall for every piece of abhorring revelation I get to know about myself, I should be left in an empty field... acres upon acres of empty fields.

Understanding myself never felt this easy and stabbing before. Understanding others slices even deeper. A thousand whats answered and how I've been shaken by the answers, nearing to the point of being afraid I'd get to have more answered.

So love me like porcelain. Please.

Heh, frowning doubly even as I'm typing now. It's still as chilly as when I started typing this entry, but I can't hear the crickets anymore with these headphones covering my hearing device. Ears.

I shall go to sleep now. Goonight.


Oh, how we've shouted, how we've screamed,
take notice, take interest, take me with you.

The weight of folly on a fool's shoulder - it drops and crushes the wounded heart. And I am but that one fool.

Long days ahead,
and a sack of follies on my shoulder.
It aims to fall on my heart.
Let it miss by a mile,
because it hasn't in awhile.


* The poems keep coming, I know. But the proses, they can wait :